A Father's Grief and a Veteran's Pain: The Laundry Room Conversation That Changed My Life
Combat Veterans, Invisible Wounds, and a Life-Altering Encounter at Thousand Trails
A Father's Story:
It was 1000am, as I stepped out of my RV I could see there was still low fog in the tall grass across from my parking spot, fading away slowly as the sun was rising and heating up the cool air. I filled up my wagon with dirty clothes, sofa covers, loki’s blankets, and started our 10 minute walk to the laundry facility.
I took up 3 of the 5 washers and sat outside for about 30 minutes listening to “Ram Dass Live” on youtube - my morning mindset routine.
As i was ‘zen-ing out” an older gentleman arrived and started having trouble with the washing machines, you had to have an app to pay electronically for the machines - looks like even the washing machines are catching up to this digital aged society now.
He said, thank you son. And looked me up and down, then stared at loki for a second, and then back to me.
He said, “are you a veteran”
I said, “yes sir”
“Combat veteran?”
Yes sir, I replied.
“My son was a combat veteran”
And when he said, “was' ' that pulled on my heart and closed my thoat a little bit as I know what “was' ' means. I assumed he must have died in combat.
“My son was in the Army, how about you?”
-same sir.
He gave me another :30sec stare and I noticed his eyes tearing up and turning a little red. I could see the pain in his: face, eyes, body posture, and breath.
I asked him, “How is everything going with you in life sir?” a question we should all be asking ourselves and loved ones from time to time again.
I could see his eyes tearing up again, and a tear rolled out down his left cheek and said, I loved my son, you kinda remind me of him”
-”What happened if you don’t mind me asking?” and my eyes started tearing up as I might know the answer to this question.
“He came back from war a different person, he was infantry.”
I wasn’t infantry, but I know exactly what he means about coming back from war a different person.
Revealing the Data:
I did some research and found some accurate numbers that will blow your mind about War and the military.
So, the United States Population is 330 Million.
2.7 million join the United States military.
472,500 join combat roles/jobs.
70,875 actually saw combat.
So from 330 million only 2.6% of that see war first-hand and engage with the enemy.
Not to mention approximately 2,127 U.S. military personnel are killed in action.
But his son didn’t die from war, it was by suicide, and those numbers are even more outrageous.
As of 2024, 24 veterans commit suicide each day. I’ve lost to many brothers in arms including our commander, my captain who I deployed with to afghanistan last year.
Back to the Laundry Room
Let's get back to the laundry room conversation. This father told me his son was battling cancer after separating from the army. Him, his wife, and son had put together a bucket list of destinations his son wanted to visit before he past ranging from Texas to Florida.
They bought an RV, converted half of the RV to accommodate his son’s hospital bed, built a ramp that lowered like an army tank in a movie from the back for easy accessibility. He smiled, and said it was a really cool RV.
All of this was happening last year and halfway through their journey the trip ended abruptly. I was thinking about the cancer, but something worse- a self inflicted gunshot wound.
As he was telling me this, we both started crying just like I am right now writing this blog.
I rarely cry, not for movies nor funerals, but I will cry for my brothers who lost the biggest battle of their lives. Not many people understand the power of invisible wounds of war. His son was battling cancer with only so long to live, yet the pain of war was worse and to battle that alone plain out sucks!. We all need someone to talk to, confide in, or to believe in.
This is why I do what I do.
This is why I started Mogressive Coaching.
This is why I’m still here today.
I found passion through my pain, and I don’t want my brothers and sisters in arms to battle this alone.
The only thing a combat veteran wants after war is a peaceful heart, and a quiet mind. Everything else is extra.
We both hugged and cried. I opened up to him about my struggles and he gave me one last hug, and this hug felt like he was hugging his son just one more time. I didn’t realize this until the end of our conversation, but Loki was sitting next to this gentleman the entire time comforting him by using his nose to keep petting him.
Now fast-forward to today, his wife divorced him, lost his son last year, and still has the RV haunting him everyday. He said, I finally got 2 little dogs, and those dogs are the only reason i’m still here today. His wife left him because being in the RV and seeing him was too much for her to handle.
He lives full time in their class-a RV and is fulfilling their son's dream of touring the US in the RV.
We hugged one more time before bidding farewell.
And he said, “Thank you son, you lifted so much guilt, pain, and suffering from me” He put the last of his clothes in his basket from the dryer and i folded loki's last blanket that was hanging outside- we each went our own ways back to our campsites as if time had stopped for both of us and continued once we left the laundry room.
For whatever reason God created this pathway so the both of us could meet and help one another. To be honest, I wasn't expecting to have a life long altering moment in a thousand trails laundry room that day or anyday really.
But then again, there are no such things as coincidences. Each one of us experiences life in different lights and it's only a matter of time before we unlock a new room in our own consciousness and it's only possible by going out and living your best life possible, a life that's 100% true to you.
The rest will fall into place, I promise.
Trust yourself, and trust the process.
It's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel right now, but I promise it's there.
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